Yesterday I went to the recycling dump to, obviously, recycle my paper, plastic and glass trash. When I noteiced an old-ish woman, the wrinkles forming fisssures in her thin skin, furiously ruffling though the various bins of plastic bottles. I decided that she couldn't be a hobo because she was driving a new mercedes benz but she certainly looked like a bag lady. I quietly slipped past her and proceeded to tip my things into the corresponding bins. I like to keep recycling a private matter and become agitated if even the people that work there interrupt me, my friend goes so far as to recycle at night because she "doesn't like anyone to see her recycle".
She came up behind me, giving me a shock! "I know you think I'm a crazy bag lady," she said (how did she know?) "but I'm collecting bottle caps for my son's class project." I guiltily looked at my own caps which now along with the bottles they were attached to were at the bottom of the large, plastics bin. "Don't worry!" she called as she dove in after them. After retrieving the caps she went on to outline the natural science syllabus at her son's school, defame the teachers who gave such short notice for projects, and the rubbish dump man who had forgotten to collect the caps for her, so that she now had to do it herself. All I could think about was, why was she telling me all this? As if to convince me, to make her story valid. But why? who cares? Would it really have mattered if I had thought she was collecting tiny little tumblers for her doll collection or making splash pools for her ant farm.
My point is we all do it, I more than anyone. I care what impression people will have of me even when I know for a fact i will never see them again. I did a secret consumer evaluation of a 5 star hotel recently. When I made the booking I clicked 'mr' instead of 'miss' on the form. When I got to the hotel to check in I had already anticipated confusion or perhaps ridicule from the staff. Before I even handed over my ID I started a long monologue which began well, with the actual story of mistakenly clicking the wrong title but ended with my affirmation that i did not have a sex change in fact I was once an over developed 9 year old who still suffered the trauma of childhood teasing. I looked up to see their shocked faces and also realised that 'too much information' was an understatement.
So I propose just do what you're doing. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone especially not strangers.
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