Wednesday, 29 February 2012

The Doom of Destiny! (overally melodramatic for effect)


I am not afraid of watching a movie alone. ‘Real Women go to the movies alone’ that’s my slogan. I love being able to wriggle in my seat without the person next to me caring, I love being able to cry my eyes out without restraint. However this particular movie-going experience has shaken me to my core!
I bought my ‘admit one’ ticket and proceeded to then buy a small popcorn and Coke Zero (just for me) and was conned into purchasing the additional peanut mNm’s by the popcorn vendor, for what I thought was just R5 more but turned out to be more like R15 more. At this point while trying desperately to shove my oversized wallet stuffed full of what one would hope was money but were actually just slightly soggy receipts into my undersized bag, I noticed the next customer. She was a middle-aged petite, Indian woman with a perfect bob and a fashion sense that could be described as ‘interesting’. Panic struck me as I realised that this could be me in 30 years!

She seemed bitter and caustic. I got this impression from the 10 minute fight she had with the popcorn vendor about the quality of their coffee. It was then that I realised that she was probably having this argument just to keep the popcorn vendor talking because this was the only person she’d spoken to in an entire week! By this stage I was having heart palpitations but consoled myself with the fact that I could go into the movie and not ever see this sad vestige of what I could become ever again.

I got into the cinema and settled myself into the comfy chair when who should open the door but my doppelganger of the future. I looked at her, she looked at me. I saw panic in her eyes and I’m sure she saw it in mine. Maybe she thought, “Oh God! This is how it starts!”. She sat down in the row behind me.

The lights dimmed but the screen was still black. In the darkness of the cinema with no one next to me in the entire row I started to cry and used up all the toilet paper I’d shoved into my purse in anticipation of the tear-jerker.

Oh and about the movie it wasn’t that good but then maybe I was preoccupied.

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