Snake and Seal Massacre in 3D!

Yesterday I watched Piranha in 3D and today I went on a roadtrip to Hartebeespoort Dam. Those two elements combined have led me to create my idea for the most successful SA horror movie of all time!

Let me first explain Hartebeespoort Dam...
Hartebeespoort is a playground for the upper-middle class sector of Gauteng society who frequent this random paradise with their yachts, jet-skis and Harley Davidsons. This makes it the perfect place for an abomination of nature massacre to occur.
 There is actually a snake and seal show in Hartebeespoort, as unlikely as that sounds as well as a petting zoo where one of the animals that you can pet is 'reptiles'.
The premise of this film will be that somehow (I haven't worked that out yet) both enraged snakes and zombie seals will escape from their tanks and wreak havoc on the town of Hartebeespoort.Its not safe on the dam and its even more dangerous on land. There is no escape! And God forbid you try to drive away from the town because the signs are so confusing and the petrol attendants so bad at giving directions that you will just end up back where you started, between a seal and a hard place!

These are the absolutely essential elements that need to be in the movie.
1. The movie needs to be shot in 3D
2. The opening scene will include a blonde couple called Jaco and Katrien stopping at a petrol station where they will be given free popcorn as this seems to be the general marketing ploy of garages in Hartebeespoort.
3. Samuel L. Jackson will play a US Marshall with a dark past that was sent specifically to Hartebeespoort to apprehend a Ugandan warlord who has been hiding in the town ever since his face was broadcast on YouTube. He just happens to be in the area when the massacre goes down.
4. There needs to be lots of gore and blood and also very many gratuitous sex scenes.
5. Kim Kardashian will play a beautiful yet somehow 'brilliant' marine biologist and  seal expert who uncovers that toxic waste has turned these majestic creatures into killing machines.
6 There has to be a slow motion scene of an enormous seal clapping its hands and going "Arp! Arp!" before it slays an entire boat load of screaming teenagers.
7. Right at the end of the movie Morgan Freeman will renew his role as Nelson Mandela for a brief cameo.