Bridal Shower Blues

The bridal shower, bachelorette, kitchen tea, hen party whatever you want to call it, is supposedly meant to be the happiest day of your life bar the actual wedding. What could be better than a room full of women fawning over you, copious amounts of alcohol, possible strippers, gifts of lacy lingerie that would normally cost a fortune?

But that's a bridal shower in the perfect world. In this very down to earth world the bride is fighting with her mom therefore doesnt want her at her bridal shower, the bride's cousin, who's been planning the bridal shower since the bride was 2 years old has completely taken over with a playboy theme and samoosa platters and the 'bridesmaids' who are meant to be planning the bridal shower are in way over their heads, being more used to bring and braais than events described by the bride's cousin as being 'a touch of class'.

So now the lingerie is probably not happening as it should because no one can gauge the bride's bra size, the copious amounts of alcohol needs to rationed so when the alcohol runs out its time for everyone to go home, the possibility of strippers has been dashed by the presence of the bride's mother as has all possible talk of sex toys, sex exploits or basically sex of any kind. On top of that the bride no longer has a functioning bathroom and toilet thanks to what seems to be deranged plumbers.

I can tell you one thing. If I ever get married my bridal shower is going to be sushi and gin and some Jeremy Renner movies. There is no way I ever want anyone to go through this much admin!